Stumble-upon-the gods-widethumb

Finding my myth

In My Red Pencil by veronicaLeave a Comment

Every night I go to sleep and stumble upon the Gods…

This part of life that holds half of it, which I cannot postpone nor do without, and which if not tended, seems to rob me of that half. (image:Cameron Reutzer)

This part of life that holds half of it, which I cannot postpone nor do without, and which if not tended, seems to rob me of that half. (image:Cameron Reutzer)

… a world I do not know –  the world of myths and stories that hold patterns that are relevant to understand what goes on in dreams and my myth shaping life.

Sometimes I step into one or two dreams, sometimes into four, every night.   Full of wonder or restless, I wake up to realize that again I have been where never before.  In another place and story, with people I know who don’t imagine the places we have been together, or with unknown characters, that give me confidence and care for me or push me away.

How do I befriend this part of my life?  This part of life that holds half of it, which I cannot postpone nor do without, and which if not tended, seems to rob me of that half. What is my myth, this which orchestrates…

My personal project, my opus, my myth…stumbling upon the gods, I stumbled upon my myth, the opus of my life, my creation, my devotion, my own particular church, every day, patiently and amorously, I find pleasure and joy in what I am doing, this work that permeates all the aspects of my life and give it meaning and form…

I am stumbling upon the Gods to befriend my dreams.

Other times I remember little details that seem to fade or change in time; a color combination in suits and cars, in walls and napkins; numbers that insist – the two, the three, four, or those I don’t get, that haven’t impressed anyone but me.

I remember turns of many kinds, to the left, to the right, up and down. (image:Cameron Reutzer)

I remember turns of many kinds, to the left, to the right,  up and down the hill, in and out; and letters and sounds, the L, the G, insistingly clamouring for attention as unknown combinations of meaning…the background or roots of my myth.

How to understand them?  How to befriend them as my language, the language of my dreams?

Sometimes I experience the amazing feeling of flying, diving into the ocean, or I end up in a deep cave underground.  I journey the strange landscapes of earth, deserts,  steppes, or travel across the universe, jumping like a giant or in a space shuttle.

I feel the storm of wind that devastates the land, the wave that sucks towns with it, the blazing sun that kills any crop.  I wake up full of dread or excitement, wondering does all this mean?  How do I give form to the story of my nights?

How do I befriend that other side of my life that influences my day, making it peaceful or full of anguish, dreading the moment to come, or going into it confident?  How do I befriend these landscapes as my own inner landscapes?

 

Who has done this before that can tell me where to go?

Stumble-upon-the gods-post-3

I stumbled upon the gods to befriend my dreams to tell me my myth.
(Image: Cameron Reutzer)

Who has travelled with such doubtful characters, or has been so helpful?  Who is this one that runs with me or the other that seems young and old at the same time?

Who accompanies me in my journey? those faces I don’t know, that woman with the black tresses, or the one with ears of corn, the man with the staff?

I stumbled upon the gods to befriend my dreams to tell me my myth.

I stumbled upon gods and goddesses, heroes and heroines, their lives and myths, trying to give answer to those questions.  They mysteriously fit the haphazard stories of my dreams, their landscapes, and the little details of no importance that hint to their presence.

The gods do befriend my dreams and I follow their mystery and hints I give form and narrative to my dreams.  The gods and their myths befriend my dreams and tell me where I have been and where I will go.

I follow their clues in search of how to move forward, the dangers I will find, how to face or avoid them. The gods befriend my dreams and tell me how I can find …

 

Desire, Eros, Pleasure and Joy, those elusive qualities of life.

Stumbling upon the gods and befriending them, they help me connect the outer happenings of my life with the inner landscapes of dreams, its characters and destinies.

Stumbling upon the gods and befriending my dreams I learn to recognize the different faces of Desire, who is calling me to new territories.  I learn that my Desire, the only one I can recognize today, is lost. It (a she really) is in the land of duties and responsibilities, the “must and have to”, where the only possible desire is of matters of the world, and not desire for something new in life, an unknown landscape to know and tend to.

…lost in the land of duties and responsibilities, the musts and have to’s (image:mariapacewynters)

Befriending gods and dreams I learn that Eros is the one to bring out desire, looking for reconnecting to life, that feeling that makes life a vibrant happening, connected to my myth.

Eros is now healing far away wounded by routine and dullness; by the sobriety of the times; by the “know it all” attitude that wounds him.  I go looking for him, with new Desire, to find Pleasure and Joy in the search; becoming this new self, transformed by that what I intimately care about and nurture; that which defines who I am.

As I befriend my dreams I grow familiar with my inner world. I befriend all its different languages.  The gods and their myths hold invaluable clues to my emotions, my sorrows, my fears, my dreams and my body, the dynamics of my relationships and their fates.

I come to see myself –  my myth – from the perspective of another, and with each another, the way to realize the depth of an experience I had never seen before.  I recognize myself as one of those who inhabit me; and the one I feel the need to connect with.  I come to understand how I don’t quite fit into the myth but have my version of it.

This time the story will end in a very personal way, unique, because I am the one who though full of doubt and not knowing, has found desire to continue the search to find out what to do in the world beyond the known lands,…

 

 

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